Helpers

One of the unique dynamics of my current experience is being in the hospital during the COVID-19 pandemic.  Currently, no visitors are allowed except in end of life scenarios.  Therefore, I’m not anticipating any visitors and will simply accept well wishes from afar. I can joke about it now.  However, last week, it proved to be quite a challenge.  As you can imagine, I was working through my own mortality isolated from the ones I love and rely on the most.  Yes, there is FaceTime.  But, in those moments what I needed was a touch, hug, the physical presence of my wife and kids.

This inpatient experience comes with a little more mental preparation and, therefore, a better outlook.  Teri was able to attend my initial clinic visit on Wednesday immediately proceeding my hospital admission.  Having her by my side during the clinic visit was immensely reassuring and vanquished much of the anxiety that, last week, had left me cramping in abdominal crunches, fidgeting constantly, and unable to rest. The presence of our loved ones is often taken for granted with the true value of their presence not fully appreciated until placed in stark contrast to a permanent loss.

Here, at the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center, I have chosen to take my medically induced social distancing from friends and family as a challenge to find new relationships.  I’ll keep up with family and friends as much as possible through social media. But, technology is no way to have real interaction. So, every day, I am intentional about calling my nurses by name and getting to know them. I find out what brought them to Nashville. Afterall, it seems that no one is actually from Nashville. There is always a story. Do they have family? How long have they been a nurse? The questions can go on and on.  I also want to know them by name just like I want to be known by name.

So far, I’ve met Cheryl (PICC Line Nurse), Savanah, Kallie, Lindsey, Meredith, Patience, Grace, Jesse, Victoria, and Becca.  There is also Katrina who delightfully cleans my room each day. Each one of these people is a helper who gives of themselves for a 12-hour shift to people like me who “need” things. Whether it is changing my sheets, wrapping my PICC line for my shower, delivering/picking up my tray, bringing me extra apple juice, or wiping my back and PICC line arm every evening with the CHG wipes, each of them is constantly giving. And, they do so with a smile.

I’m reminded of the recent movie, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.  In it, Tom Hanks plays Mister Rogers.  The storyline of the movie includes a reporter learning life lessons from Rogers.  One of those lessons is to “look for the helpers.” As I look around me here and read my texts and the comments on this blog, I see a lot of “helpers.”

Thanks to each of you for your prayers, texts of encouragement, and comments on the blog.  I am unlikely to respond to many of them.  But, please know that every interaction means a lot to me.  It is my connection to the outside world during this weird age of COVID-19.

And for each of you facing challenges, looking for the helpers is great advice.  It takes the focus off of your own misery and allows you to see the positive interactions and relationships around you. If you don’t readily see helpers, then please consider that God may have appointed you to be that person. Engage those who don’t look up as you pass. Share an encouraging smile. After all, God, our ultimate Helper, pursues us actively.  He doesn’t wait for us to come asking for help.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” Rev 3: 20  “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

P.S. – Based on opportunity cost, the Mister Rogers movie was the most expensive movie we have have ever seen.  Teri and I had just flown into Chicago to see Hamilton for our anniversary last December.  We decided to get dinner and catch a movie the night we arrived in anticipation of seeing Hamilton the next evening.  Apparently, I’m no travel planner.  As we left our hotel for our dinner and movie, we walked right through the crowd of people going in to see the Hamilton performance for which we had tickets.

Yep.  That’s right.  I took my wife to BIPPIBOP Asian Fusion and the Mister Rogers movie on the exact night that I had tickets for us to see Hamilton.  Pure genius, right? I didn’t even figure it out until the next afternoon when we were walking around a museum.

Needless to say, I got tickets for Hamilton the next night, fourth row dead center.  And, yes, that became the most expensive broadway musical we have ever seen as well.  Love ya Babe!